trembling but roaring



my biggest fear?
having my being lost in translation.
no, i am not kidding you.
i am afraid that as someone
is translating my life,
they will forget my actual thoughts,
miss a few honest words,
and only focus on making some
good story
(but if you're looking for a
good story
don't look at my life)
i am afraid that no one will
who i was actually supposed to
i am terrified of letting my own
self down by not really
which might, in a way, let others down.
i am afraid of
not being angry enough
not being compassionate enough
not showing love enough
not speaking up enough
not living enough
not being myself enough.
okay, yes, i guess i am afraid of a lot of things,
but dying before living, causing confusion in translation,
is my biggest fear.


  1. Intense. This is very real, though. I think I fear my fear. If that makes any sense. I hate it when fear get the better of me and holds me back from living how I truly want. Also, that photo is gorgeous.

  2. i have this fear that if i die surprisingly, someone will chose the wrong song to be played at my funeral. it makes me so sad - thinking that i didn't show the people around me enough of myself for them to pick the right song - or, using your words, my life being translated wrongly - to the wrong beat, melody, lyrics.