trembling but roaring


solving world problems with a little bit of breathing

there will come a time when everything will disappear and no one will be left to remember what happened on this planet we call home, and our sun will die, and the galaxy will die, and everyone and everything will die. poof. gone. but that day, i don't think, is today. i hope it isn't today. but as we wait for that day of doom and death, destruction, we live. we press on, we are given breath. we walk, we talk, we dream and do.
this is me doing and dreaming.

i am not a master word-weaver like the brilliant minds that are john green, c.s. lewis, l.m. montgomery, john steinbeck, daniel handler, f. scott fitzgerald, mary oliver, etc. sometimes i try really hard to make something decent, or i put together some words that i think create a kind-of witty sentence. i try i try i try. but most of the time i fail. these words don't seem to work as well when they come from me. writing isn't my first love, it is not an area i am exactly gifted in. but still, i try. i am not lewis carroll, or j.r.r. tolkien, but still i hope that the words i do spill make some kind of difference to this world, a difference that nobody will remember but at the time helps to fuel them on to do something somewhat decent and fantastic and possibly world-changing.
this is me, stringing a series of letters together to try and change society and then dominate the world.

people tend to think i'm quiet, and i am. but there are two of me: grace and gracie. very similar, still different. if you call me gracie, you get gracie: quiet, simple, indecisive, no opinion, rarely speaks her mind. you call me grace, you get grace: quiet, occasionally obnoxious, indecisive, has an opinion and will defend it, is more open, will speak her mind. you get what you call. small talk kills all the million-and-one sides of me. sit me down in a room and survive for more than an hour and i will bounce off the walls and share my heart with you. my hopes and dreams will tumble out of my soul and into your ears if you can make it through an hour of sporadic awkward silences and attempts at conversation. if you ask me how i'm doing i will usually lie, unless you answer your question honestly when it double backs to you. how are you? i want to know. i am a really good listener, please dump your fears and hopes and loves and losses on me. i care.
this is me, gracie and grace.

this world might last for a very long time, but our individual lives are not eternal. let's not live like our bodies will last forever. create sometime that will change your world; cry really hard into your pillow for absolutely no reason other than to cry; go out and do something crazy or simple; write a letter to someone, a letter that will scare you; take a nap because naps are nice; take a walk around the park; make a bowl of ramen noodle soup and read a book or watch your favorite tv show or belt every song from your favorite cd until your voice is dead; start a new blog or revive that one you created when you were 12, because there are things that need to be said, and sometimes those words will stick in your throat but not the keys of your computer; live, because we're all going to cease to exist eventually and living can be fun if you make something of it.


  1. These are really beautiful and, if you read slowly and thoughtfully, impactful words, Grace. (or should I say Gracie? ;)

  2. Oh, Gracie-Grace, you've returned—wiser and stronger and braver! I'm wrapping the words you've written here around my mind because they're good to memorise and remember.