dear [ future daughter ], i hope you run like a girl

 

DEAR [ future daughter ],

WHEN you grow up, I hope you run like a girl. Meaning, I hope you run hard, run fast, as fast as a cheetah [ one day you'll learn that they are the fastest land animal on Earth ]. Running will hurt your lungs, your powerful legs will ache all over, and in the beginning you might cramp up, but I want you to run everywhere, and when people stop you and ask you what you are doing, I want you to tell them, "I'm running like a girl!"

WHEN you grow up, I hope you hit like a girl. Hit things hard - be it baseballs, punching bags, boys who are being rude and mean to innocent people, and, if life seems like too much, hit the wall - we can always patch it up later, plus you'll have a reminder that you made it and you're okay now. Hit without apologizing. But only hit with good intentions. And if people ask you why you hit so hard and fast, I want you to tell them, "I'm hitting like a girl!"

WHEN you grow up, I hope you feel like a girl. I hope you feel deeply, widely, honestly. I hope your heart feels so much joy and love it can do nothing more but spill over into the world, and flood the hearts of others with your feelings. And if people accuse you of being too emotional, I want you to tell them, "I'm feeling like a girl!"

WHEN you grow up, I hope you speak like a girl. I hope you speak loud and clear and with all the sincerity in the world. Think well and hard before you speak, and speak the words the world needs to hear. Speak truth, speak love, speak to build up grand palaces of solid steel in the hearts of others. Speak to repair broken souls. And if people approach you and ask why you're words are so deep and unnatural and full of healing, I want you to tell them, "I'm speaking like a girl!"

WHEN you grow up, I hope you don't turn out like me. Yes, I am still only seventeen, and I have quite a bit of life to live, and lessons to learn, and cells to grow, and ideas to connect and flourish and die before I will ever meet you, if I ever get to meet you [ oh, God, I pray with all my heart I get to meet you ], but I pray you won't turn out like me. And in order to not turn out like me, you need to know that not every bad thing is your fault, you nose is adorable, your mouth is perfect, your eyes are deep and dark and someday the right man will come along and drown them; you are capable of surviving math/science/history/foreign language/whatever subject you'll struggle with, just don't mark yourself a failure before you actually try. YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE. If you like sports, play hard, play strong, but don't work yourself too hard. If you like art, know that creative blocks will tumble in your way and you won't be able to see the path and you will try everything to move them but they won't budge, but remember they are not your fault, they do not define your your talents/strengths/weaknesses/abilities. They are there for you to stretch your muscles, and they will move, and when they move, the dam that held back your light will break and you will flood the world with your brilliance. No matter how strong the urge is, don't step on the scale. YOUR WEIGHT. HEIGHT. GRADES. BRA SIZE. JEAN SIZE. DRESS SIZE. DO NOT DEFINE YOU. Numbers don't define you. Don't you dare let those numbers define you. You body, EVERY INCH OF IT, is precious and perfect and strong and able and stunning and powerful.

WHEN you grow up, I hope you will know that being a strong woman is not the same as being manly or lacking femininity - wearing jeans all the time instead of dresses, lifting weights instead of working in the kitchen, although it could be those things. But rather, being a strong woman means being who you know you are, who you are meant to be, and being without apologizing, no excuses. It means being complex and deep and crafted with a million different beautiful threads. It means crying a lot of sad tears, crying a lot of happy tears, crying tears that have no story. It means being proud of your body, your mind, and every sunspot and dimple and every layer of skin.

MORE than anything, though, I hope that when you grow up, you will stay true to yourself, whoever you may be. I hope that you will strive to learn about everything you love, and then some. I hope you will strive to love every single person around you, knowing that there are many different kinds of love, and it's okay to say "I love you" a lot [ you really can't say it enough ]. You will find yourself at rock-bottom more often than you'd like, but you can only go up from there. Ask questions. Don't be ashamed of yourself. Love your body. Take care of your mind. Drink lots of water and eat lots of fruits and anytime is a good time to eat chocolate. I love you. God loves you. The trillions of cells in your body love you. You are necessary. You are worthy. You are loved.

xoxo

Dear [ insert your name here ]

DEAR [ anyone: lost in the sea of self-hate, doubt, struggling to find worth in themselves, fighting against the dark, lost sight of life ],

FIRST, can I take a moment to say that life is ugly? I think we can all agree on that truth, right? Life is as ugly as the hell that burns below. It is a high and tormenting fire, it is overflowing with death, chaos, loved ones gushing out lies, panic, destruction, broken bones, misconceptions, lost jobs, lost loves, lost lives. Evil, lurking, everywhere you turn. Shadows keep watch behind you, in front of you, inside of you.
This is life.

NOW, can I just make another, and very important, point? Because the fact is, as messy and ugly as life can be, it is also beautiful. Plainly, simply, beautiful.

Beau·ti·ful
adjective │ Wonderful; very pleasing or satisfying; possessing qualities that give great pleasure or satisfaction to see, hear, think about, etc.; excellent of its kind. 

LIFE is beautiful. It offers us the chance to dream big dreams, to love so deeply the ocean becomes jealous, to love simply, to forgive and let go, to soar great heights, to dive haunting depths, to face fears of every size, to conquer challenges, to experience the connections of souls. Use the time you have to notice the excellence of every heartbeat and cloud and leaf and breeze and raindrop and rose and dandelion and human and soul and laugh and sob and hug and language and film and flavor and kiss and kitten and friend and color and sound. Enjoy it all, every second of it. Remind yourself that existing is beautiful. Write life is beautiful! on neon sticky notes and paste them all over your bedroom walls, desk, mirror, chair, bed frame; schedule pop-up reminders on your phone letting you know that every breath you harbor in your lungs and gracefully release into the wild blue of the invisible is beautiful and worth the pain; hike up a mountain, feel the ache in your bones, and yell at the top of your lungs this life is so worth living! because it is and every living and inanimate thing should know.

LIFE is made of light and dark. It will take you to high places, and it will knock you down, battered, bruised, with your face in the mud. You will be pounded, blow after blow after blow, blood trickling down your temple, and you will heal. You will grow stronger, taller. You will tuck this experience under the belt secured around your waist. You will encourage others, when they ask about the stories behind your scars, that you are living proof that every single person is strong enough and brave enough to fight and win the many fights they have/will face against mind/body/world.

AND, baby, you are going to need to fight for your dreams. Dream big, dream LOUD, and fight strategically, fight hard. Remember, whenever darkness hits in any form, your words stand as your sword, swing them swiftly. Remember, you have two hands, learn to wield them effectively. Your dreams are worth the fight it will take to bring them to reality. Do what you have to. If someone tears you down because of your soul-dream, cut them out of your life as soon as you can, don't apologize. You do not need to give them a reason why. If they refuse to support you, they aren't worth your energy. Find people that support you. Befriend people with the same infectious smile, and brighten up the world together. If you love someone, let them know. Let them know now. Remember that mental illness is a flaw in chemistry, not a flaw in character, this darkness will end. Do what scares you, but within reason. If you're lost, seek help. Find your Northern Star and keep on 'til the golden morning light warms your skin. Learn the difference between healthy fear and crippling anxiety. Try new things, meet new people, speak love, speak life, be the person you needed to breathe life into your suffocating heart when you were younger. Remember, your worth does not lie in words. You exist, you are living, you are loved.

Let me say that again: you are loved.

LIFE is hard. 

Life sucks sometimes. 

Life is ugly.

Life is messy. 

Life can be hellish. 

But if there is hell, there has to be heaven.

With dark, comes light.

Every torrential downpour has to end.

With rain comes sunshine comes growth come recovery.

Keep fighting, wildflower. 

You will thrive.

With love.

xo

this is who you really are

you are stronger and more confidant than the world tells you.
you are amazing.
you are.
child, let me tell you, you will move mountains. one of these days - maybe tomorrow, maybe in a year, it might even be on the last day of your life, old and gray, i don't know - but someday, you are going to do something incredible. you might not think it is all that big at the moment, or ever when it is long over, but, you see, one tiny drop of water can move and change the surface of the whole ocean. you just living, choosing to continue breathing today, is world-changing.
do not let the world tell you who you are, because the world is full of liars and thieves out to steal your personality, your life, your happiness. do not allow them that satisfaction. instead, find those rare souls who will do anything to build you up with honest words and deep love. do not let your heart focus only on the negative. turn yourself around and look at all of the good. hey, you got out of bed this morning, and that is magnificent. the world is still revolving around the sun, and that's kind of a big deal, and hey, maybe your favorite band is releasing new music soon, or your favorite book is being turned into a movie, or you got accepted into that university you've dreamed of attending; your favorite tv show is continuing for another season, summer is almost here and everyone knows that summer makes you big-goofy-smile-happy, you got a new shirt/dress/ring/tie/pair of shoes today, the small local movie theatre is playing an old childhood movie with $1 tickets tonight, that obscure band you love has music on spotify now, your hair looks superb, you found your favorite ugly sweater that you thought you had lost forever but it was just buried in the back of your closet, the barista at that little coffee place on the street corner by your house gave you a compliment on your shoes (they are really super duper cool), your all-time-favorite-in-the-history-of-ever movie is on tv tonight, you've gone all week without harming your lovely arms, you actually made a decision today (chocolate or vanilla? chocolate), your winged eyeliner looked perfect today, you landed with both feet planted on the ground after taking that ginormous leap of faith, you kept down everything you ate today, the air was crisp and it felt good breathing it into your lungs - the list could go on and on and on.
see? there is good surrounding you everywhere, you just have to look. now don't you dare tell me there is nothing wonderful in your life, because that is a dead, lonely lie. love, i wish i could sit down with you and point out to you every little bit of happy in your life; there is so much, it's all over the place, nooks and crannies stuffed with something lovely, all for you to discover.
listen to your heart. listen hard. listen to that love and hope and encouragement and thump thump thump deep within your rib cage, flowing through your bones.
you are living.
you are awesome.
you are worthy.
you are loved more than you will ever know.
you are more than your mistakes and fears and bullies and peers and anxiety and pain and past.
you are lovely and joyful and courageous and inspiring and cool, calm, collected and light and a promising future.
you are.