august 01 / broken / ocean

like a wave that loses it's grandeur when it hits the ocean floor
so my heart was when you left it
but
like the ocean when the moon calls her name toward shoreline
and borders
so my heart surged with life, with power, on strings of chains broken

new / purpose / home

there's nothing new under
the sun
these words have been
written before
these feelings have been felt
before
maybe, just in different
order.
any / either way, i was sitting out at the
edge of the
earth today
staring into oblivion
when i was asked the questions,
who are you, why are you here,
and i didn't know how to answer them
so i jumped off the pier, into the swirling
waters,
the wind whipping my salty hair,
ripping my heart in two;
the wind howled, loud and muffled,
bass shaking bones, i tumbled and trembled.

it's hard facing myself in the mirror, when i'm unsure
of purpose, what my worth is,
i try to measure myself next to the ocean,
if only i could be more like her.
strong and calm and divisive and healing,
never ending.
i told her i admired her
she blushed deep green hues,
retreated to the end of the world
and rushed back with gifts of quiet chaos and
overwhelming peace -
she's captivating like that.

if you're ever confused, go to the coastline,
sink your hands in the sand, like a dying man,
and listen to the sound of God's heart surging toward you;
feel His breath - inhale exhale - dancing on your skin, shaking the earth.
look out into a fraction of His magnitude -
it's in the unknown, i find home.